funny jokes!!!

[Rozzi]

hey ppl all you have to do is post jokes,that are FUNNY!!!!

[Hero's Fighter]

Why was the washing machine laughing?


it was taking the piss outta the knickers!!!

[Rozzi]

lol your joke was dead funny!

this is my number 1 joke!

there was this tramp called billy... he was looking for somewhere to stay the night.he went to this house and said "please can i stay in your house for a night or two?"
"no im sorry we have no room here,go next door they've got lots of room".
*knock*knock*knock*
"hello, please could i stay at your house for a night or two?"
"ok then, you will have to sleep in the shed".
so the tramp went into the shed...he was just getting to sleep when it started to rain and the shed had holes in the roof.so he went outside and took the clothes off the washing line and used then to stay dry.so the woman said "right thats it im giving you a warning!,ill put you in the kitchen now...
so she took him to the kitchen and the tramp fell to sleep,but he woke up in the middle of the night...he was really thirsty so he went into the fridge and drank all of the milk...
"right thats it last warning!!!,you can go and sleep in the spare room!"
so the tramp did and he woke up in the middle of his dream and he heard a cat making noises in the bedroom...
so he picked up a shaver and he shaved all of the hairs off the cat!
"right thats it i have had enought!!!im ringing the police!"
*ring ring*ring ring*

"hello police,i need you to come really quickly...i invited this tramp to come and stay in my house for a night..."

"but he did this:HE TOOK MY CLOTHES OFF,HE DRANK MY MILK AND HE SHAVED MY *****!!!!!!!

so you like it?
please send your jokes in!

[Wardy]

What do you call a Girl with a Sausage on her head?

Barbie!!!

[Rozzi]

lol that was funny!


ok there was a magic cliff thats enchanted by a mage and theres 3 boys....
the_+ 1st boy said i wanna be an eagle so he jumped off the cliff and turned into an eagle..._+the 2nd boy jumped off the cliff and said i wanna be a pelican so he jumped off the cliff and turned into a pelican_+the 3rd boy tripped on a rock and said oh ~shit~so he fell off the cliff and turned into a peace of shit_+ LMFAO~



this is a good joke:

there was 3 men one english 1 irish and 1 scottish...
they all went out to a pub and they saw a sigh saying 'paying 100$ to whoever can take my camel around the mountain without it having a piss'...
so the irish man tried it and his camel had a pee straight away so he was out!

then the scottish man got all the way round three quarters of the mountain then the camel had a pee...

so then the english man took the camel all the way round the mountain without it having a pee!!!!!!!!
so when he got back to the pub the man came to congratulate him..."well done sir,you did it!here is your 100$ ENJOY!!""oh yeah one more thing...how did you do it?"
"well it was simple i just tied a not around the camels cock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[harrywhat]

Waffles you killed it =/.
Heres one dumb joke..Where do Astrounats like to hang out in a cpu?

In the space bar..Only "appropiate joke i can think off...

[Shanecobra]

lol ross....

[playtopk]

I think this is the right section and i saw earlier that alot of people said it was fine to make a racist joke so here it goes(sorry if u get affended)

Okay, there are Three Men, A black one, A mexican one, and Finally a White one. So there all at a cliff and decide to bring somthing back the next day that they have alot of in there country to throw off the cliff. So, Again the next day the Black man brang a watermelon and dropped it off. Then the mexican went he dropped alot of hair gel and cologne. Then the White guy pushed off the mexican.:pbthh: :nod:

[God]

ok I found this one on the web, it goes something like this:

When NASA started sending up astronauts to space, they quickly figured out that ball-point pens don't work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, they spent a secade and inveseted over 10 billion dollars to invent this pen that: writes on any surface including glass, works in zero gravity, can withstand temperatures from -1000 degrees to 1000degrees, works underwater, can withstand tremendous pressure, and will not break apart no matter what.


































































The Russians used a pencil.

[playtopk]

ok I found this one on the web, it goes something like this:

When NASA started sending up astronauts to space, they quickly figured out that ball-point pens don't work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, they spent a secade and inveseted over 10 billion dollars to invent this pen that: writes on any surface including glass, works in zero gravity, can withstand temperatures from -1000 degrees to 1000degrees, works underwater, can withstand tremendous pressure, and will not break apart no matter what.





































































The Russians used a pencil.

umm..that really isnt that funny..

[harrywhat]

Heres a your moma joke...

Your mom is so dumb hat she got runed over by a parked car.

[HairyNalgas]

ur momma is so stupid she triped over a corless phone

ur momma is so hairy she got afros on her nipples

Yo momma so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

[playtopk]

dude dont triple post..its not aloud on here and is coisidered fre posting and spam..

[SigO]

Tripe post merged into one. HairyNalgas, just hit the 'edit' button to add more lines.

"afros on her nipples"...I don't care who you are - that's funny!

[harrywhat]

Your mom is so fat, that she layed down on the beach, and Spain claimed her as a new land.

[Buo]

A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out and

cornered a small monkey and roared "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"

The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion!

"Later, the lion confronts a wildebeest and fiercely bellows, "Who is the

mightiest of all jungle animals?"

The terrified wildbeest stammers, "Oh great lion, you are by far the mightiest

animal in the jungle!"

On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, "Who is

mightiest of all jungle animals?"

Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him

against a tree half a dozen times. The lion feeling like it'd been run over by a

safari wagon. The elephant then stomped on the lion till it looked like a corn

tortilla and ambled away.

The lion let out a moan of pain, lifted his head weakly and hollered after the

elephant, "Just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get

so pissed off."

-I got that from this one website my friend showed me...its not mine (i wish it was though),
Its just so funny I had to show everyone!!!

[theWaffles]

i made this joke up as far as i know
ok a rich man has 3 sons. he is on his death bed, so he calls all his sons to his side. he says" whoever brings me the most ping pong balls wins my fortune, but you must be here by the end of next week."
so on the end of next week the 3 brothers are at the door and each has a small truck. the first one opens his truck and says " haha 20,000 ping pong balls." the second one opens his truck and says" 25,000 ping pong balls muhahahaha!!" the 3rd one opens his truck and doesnt say anything. they all look inside and see two huge giant bloody things. they say "what are those and where are the ping pong balls?" he says" ping pong balls?! i thought you said king kongs balls!

[Kritik6]

aww.......GAWD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Disgusting jokes everywhere i seeeeeeee!!!!!!

meh, my joke now:

Why water bottles so small?
Because they couldn't fit in my bag!!!!

FUNNEE! RATE IT OUT OF 10 PLEASE =]
oh, and i made it myself, cool eh?

[playtopk]

lol yea basically no1 is rating these..


Rate mine..

[theWaffles]

kritik sorry but i dont get yours at all
on a better note
your mommas a big mac, all fat and only worth a dollar

[Chicago Ted]

yo momma so fat, when god said "let there be light!" she moved out of the way

[Hero's Fighter]

ur momma so fat when she stepped on the scales my phone number appeared!!!

heres another 1

ur momma so fat wh en she walked past the tv i missed the simpson movie and borat!

[Kritik6]

kritik sorry but i dont get yours at all
on a better note


Lol i know, i made it up in a like 5 secs. It is meant to mean that bottles are made small so that they'll fit in your bag, It' just straight forward,no catch in it really

[Lyddii]

Three animals; a lion, a bull and a bird were having an argument about who was the scariest..

"I am," said the lion, "I just have to roar and grown men shake."

"No, I am," said the bull, "I just have to stamp my feet for people to run away."

"Actually, you're both wrong," said the bird, "I just have to sneeze and the whole world panics."